Almost

The concept of love eludes me.
It’s not as simple as one, two, three,
Nor as obvious as grass and trees,
What do you mean to say you love me?

I understand myself barely.
It’s not as easy as elementary,
I am more complex than calculus, And more difficult than C++.

The pain I have been through
exceeds the joys,
It’s beyond that of a child
with crushed toys,
Am like a super hero on a failed mission,
Happiness is all just an illusion.

I no longer know what it’s like to
be cared for,
My heart can’t detect love anymore.
There is only the harshness of winter And the fierce winds that cause leaves to wither

I have hidden behind these stone
walls for so long They have
become my home.
My own little fortified city
I have left no point of entry.
And now here you are, speaking words so sweet
How I feel has changed, I must admit.
I stand at the city gates trembling, With the key in my hand and thinking,
What am I doing? I almost let you in! ! ! !

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